Motivation

Why It’s Time To Stop Playing Hard to Get

playing hard to get | motivation | shut up and go

So much of life is a game of puffing feathers, tickling egos, and trying to look like more than we all are. But you don’t have to play that game.

This concept of playing hard to get is something we’re taught – that if we show we don’t really need someone or something, that we’ll be more desired. In millennial terms, to not look so thirsty. This is the case when you’re trying to land a talent agency, when you’re in an interview with a boss, or when you don’t tell your crush you like them.

Up until recently, I had never given this whole concept much thought. Now that I’m in a season of change: I’ve become more aware that this concept is pretty much the antithesis of the shut up and go mentality. Here’s why.

The amount of self-respect in playing hard to get is little to none – it’s a big ego-feeder, but people who are lost in their ego, are exactly that: lost. It’s almost like you’re saying:

K cool so you may be diggin’ all of this, and I’m diggin’ all of this, but maybe you’ll dig all of this a little bit more if I distance myself a bit from you.

And what tends to happen instead?

You lose the opportunity. Your crush moves on. You wonder what the hell you were thinking. You become the person that should’ve done the thing, but didn’t.

++

A few years ago, I remember watching a TedTalk by a passenger of the flight that successfully landed on the Hudson. He lists three things he learned as his flight was about to crash on the river. I swear I cry every time I watch that video, whether I’m in public or not.

I collect bad wines. If the wine is ready and the person is there, I’m opening it. I no longer want to postpone anything in life.

And this is exactly the sense of urgency that I want to live with everyday. The opposite is pretty much the petty bullshit that we all do everyday. No, no, no! I’m saving my wine for a big moment! or But if I text back in ten minutes, I’ll look busy or I really like this company, but if I say I’m meeting with other companies, I’ll look more important.

Bye. There’s no time to be playing with time like that.

A simple rule has been instated in my life: If they’re not as interested in you as much as you’re interested in them, then. it’s. not. a. match. You’re cool, you’re attractive, you’re interesting – and anyone who can’t recognize that doesn’t deserve your time. You shouldn’t want to offer them your time. There’s no need to play games to amp up the desire. Of course prove your worth, but this whole game of bait and fish is not cute.

playing hard to get | motivation | shut up and go | coffee

playing hard to get

playing hard to get | motivation | shut up and go | coffee shop brooklyn

I was on Quora yesterday – my go-to mindless scrolling app that turns into a complete mind exercise – when I came across an answer that I screen-shotted. Typically when I do this, I forget about the screenshot and hate myself an ounce more months later when I have 1,000 screenshots of text. Seriously, where do you even begin with those folders?

There were trillions of possibilities for you to never exist but here you are.

Pause.

Re-read.

There were trillions of possibilities for you to never exist but here you are.

With this is mind, we’re reminded damn, maybe I am somehow something special. Would I be the same person with the same personality and same consciousness had my parents done the dirty a day before?

None of this happened by chance. I’m writing this blog, you’re reading it, and this is all happening because it’s supposed to happen – and it sounds a lot like a big load of mumbo-jumbo from a LOST writing room (favorite show, btw), but when you scale it and make it a case of you wasting your time on jobs, friends, or crushes, it should prove to you that you’re the one playing games and not valuing your worth.

Not saying the things you wanted to say in the moment. Not doing the things you wanted to do. Not talking to your crush.

Stop playing hard to get. You’re only hurting yourself.

 

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  • Katrina

    Amen. Hallelujah!!!!

  • Carla Abreu

    yes, Damon! No use in playing games. Life is too short.

    • “There’s not enough time to be playin’ with time like that!”

  • Jared Zachary

    loved this post so so so much!

    • It’s so important to stop playing games when we want something. Thanks for reading! ❤️

  • brianna1350

    Damn, how do I favorite a post?

  • Afia Mw

    Wow, drag me! A great reminder and right on time.

    • I thought of you while writing this post!

      😀 Kidding. We all play ourselves, don’t worry. At least now we recognize it!

  • Miguel Antonyo

    I loved this post <3 !!

  • disqus_IDKHtxo34g

    Always love your article so much <3

  • disqus_IDKHtxo34g

    Always love your article so much! <3

  • Marie

    Perfectly said. Thank you.

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