Your 15 minute transfer at Chatelet-Les Halles
Avoid at all costs.
Sorry, you are officially “old” in Paris years. No more discounts. However, you can still try to fake it as a student.
Seeing tourists struggle to get the metro doors open
Pull. Lever. Up.
Losing your metro ticket
Just hope you don’t get caught.
The stress of being controlled
You have my metro card and you even swiped it to get in, but for some reason, at the last minute, you fear your card will deactivate and the controller will think you’re cheating the Paris metro out of their money
Going to Galeries Lafayette any day of the week
Constant smell of smoke
With this much second-hand smoke, you might as well just smoke
Wanting a filter coffee and feeling somewhat embarrassed about it
Suckas, got my filter coffee!
Living near a 3bis line…or any bis line for that matter
Never do that to yourself.
Not being near Montparnasse, Gare de Lyon, or Chatelet when catching a Noctilien
Hope you like to Vélib…
Almost getting hit by a bus in St. Michel & St. Germain des Près
The person who designed that intersection just wanted something bad to happen. Who would decide to build a huge street with four streets going North and just one bus lane toward the South.
Going to a bar and hoping to hear anything but electro
Always prepare your best two-step, and if that doesn’t work, just hop around – you’ll fit in perfectly
Being the only friend at a soirée who doesn’t smoke
Never have you ever looked more straight-edge…
Seeing normal people jump the turnstiles in the Paris metro
I just really don’t get this. Normal, and I mean “normal” normal people will skip paying the fare if they don’t have to.
Buying a baguette and it not being warm and toasty
Wanting to sign up for a gym
People don’t go to the gym; they go to the public pool.
Showing up to the pool and having to buy a speedo out of the vending machine because you brought your American board shorts
Stepping in dog poop
Literally happened to me and my flip flop two days ago
The sketchiness near parts of the Péripherique
Not to say that Porte de Clignancourt doesn’t have its own charm…
Nobody knows how to swipe your American debit card
C’mon America, we need the puce!
Green pharmacies don’t mean medical marijuana. All pharmacies are green.
You’ll see grown ass adults riding scooters and make fun of them, but secretly wish you were them
You got me; I secretly want to be scootering around Paris with my future son
Trying to get anything done on a Sunday afternoon…or anytime in August
TV shows can start at random times like 08:50
A general lack of respect for forming a line (you wait ten minutes and you’re next in line just when they open a new line and people behind you run to the line)
R-E-S-P-E-C-T was an American hit.
Forgetting to say “bon appétit” and diving into your meal instead
No air-conditioning anywhere, and when you do manage to find air-conditioning, it’s just at room temperature
Just put on a fan…?
You can rip open cases of beverages for just one
Oh, you want the whole package? Hold on, let me just ruin the whole thing for you because I just want one bottle.
Trying to decipher the nutrition facts that can be any font and any size and any design
Is it because most French foods aren’t completely radioactive by default that they don’t need the nutrition facts to be loud and proud in a uniform black and white design?
The fact that you sometimes have to put a photo of yourself on your resume irritates you
Just think of all the discrimination!